When it Feels Like You are on Plan Z

If you’ve lived on this planet, you probably know life is funny. It is funny in the way that we wake up some days and wonder how did we even get here. How did life even pan out like this? If you know me, you know I have a 10 year plan. A plan for every single day this week, a plan for my outfits, and more cute checklist paper than I can count. Yet, I can not count the amount of times a wrench has been thrown into my plans. 

There are numerous occasions where we are let down. Where the things we thought were meant to be, are not meant to be. There are times when we pray and pray and the answer still is no. 

We pray…..

 Lord if I can just meet the right boy

Lord if we can just find the right job

Lord if you can just heal them 

Lord if you can just end this season

Lord if you can just end this struggle

Lord if I can just pass this test 

Lord if…….. Fill in the blank. You know you have that moment. 

But what  if he does not? If he does not provide the child you prayed for, the job you begged for, the relationship you wanted to mend, the hurt that you wanted to end didn’t end happy.

Then what? 

A podcast I listened to (probably Annie F. Downs but can’t confirm) said we dig up in doubt what we planted in faith. There will be times when we have to dig deep. We have to cling hard to the promises we know the Lord has made. 

The story that comes to mind when thinking of when God does not do what we intended or doesn’t provide in the way we wanted, is Jonah and the whale.

Now the word of the Lord came to Jonah the son of Amittai, saying, 2 “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil  has come up before me.” 3 But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.

4 But the Lord hurled a great wind upon the sea, and there was a mighty tempest on the sea, so that the ship threatened to break up. 5 Then the mariners were afraid, and each cried out to his god. And they hurled the cargo that was in the ship into the sea to lighten it for them. But Jonah had gone down into the inner part of the ship and had lain down and was fast asleep.6 So the captain came and said to him, “What do you mean, you sleeper? Arise, call out to your god! Perhaps the god will give a thought to us, that we may not perish.” 7 And they said to one another, “Come, let us cast lots, that we may know on whose account this evil has come upon us.” So they cast lots, and the lot fell on Jonah. 8 Then they said to him, “Tell us on whose account this evil has come upon us. What is your occupation? And where do you come from? What is your country? And of what people are you?” 9 And he said to them, “I am a Hebrew, and I fear the Lord, the God of heaven, who made the sea and the dry land.” 10 Then the men were exceedingly afraid and said to him, “What is this that you have done!” For the men knew that he was fleeing from the presence of the Lord, because he had told them.

11 Then they said to him, “What shall we do to you, that the sea may quiet down for us?” For the sea grew more and more tempestuous. 12 He said to them, “Pick me up and hurl me into the sea; then the sea will quiet down for you, for I know it is because of me that this great tempest has come upon you.” 13 Nevertheless, the men rowed hard to get back to dry land, but they could not, for the sea grew more and more tempestuous against them. 14 Therefore they called out to the Lord, “O Lord, let us not perish for this man's life, and lay not on us innocent blood, for you, O Lord, have done as it pleased you.” 15 So they picked up Jonah and hurled him into the sea, and the sea ceased from its raging. 16 Then the men feared the Lord exceedingly, and they offered a sacrifice to the Lord and made vows. 17  And the Lord appointed a great fish to swallow up Jonah. And Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights.  -Jonah 1:1-17 

Jonah did not ask God if he could go to Nineveh. God told Jonah to, and that was not in Jonah’s plan.  The Lord did not provide in the way that Jonah wanted him to. So Jonah literally fled from the Lord. Jonah does a lot of great things, but in this specific story- he was a coward. He was so scared. 

Most days, I am Jonah. I am tooooooooo guilty of looking at God and saying “Ehhhhh Lord I really don’t know about that.” There are days when I cry and think Lord please, don’t. Don’t make me. There are moments where I say oh Lord that is way too far out of my skill set. I can’t. 

Yet. 

The Lord will go to great lengths to get you where he wants you.

That, reassures me. It reassures me that in the moments where the world seems so foggy, that I can’t even see where or what to go to next. He is more than aware. So aware he could send a bird or even a whale to pick me up and take me to the spot he wants me. 

So in the end. It is okay to be heartbroken that it ended up nothing like you thought. It’s okay that you cried more days then you can count. It’s okay that to you and me it may feel like the Lord in fact did not provide. But man this story just glows of the Lord provisions. Of the Lord saying you are not going to love being in the fish's belly for a few days, but if you only knew. I think that so often. I think if I could just go back and tell myself, if you only knew the joy that was coming. If you only knew how good this thing will be. Because God is not on plan B.